Life as a new parent always poses new challenges... One challenge that I thought I had overcome was the whole running errands with a baby challenge. As silly as it seems, this is something that at first gave me complete anxiety.
Did I pack everything I need? What if he needs a diaper change? What if he cries and people stare at me? Is he big enough to sit in the cart, or should I still lug in the carrier?
With more and more practice, came more and more confidence in being able to knock out my to-do list with a baby on my hip.
Today, however, Nolan and I had an experience that has left me feeling completely humbled.
My day had gone along like any other- crazy busy. After a day of work followed by picking up Nolan at the sitters, I had one more stop to do as I needed to buy groceries for our Birthday Club at work that I would be hosting tomorrow. As we headed into the store I thought to myself, " this will be a quick trip, instead of bringing in the diaper bag, I'll just grab my purse and his snacks." It was right around 4:30 or 5 at this time, and Nolan can become quite a bear as he's ready for dinner. The snacks are always my saving grace as they keep him occupied until we get in the door!
We were almost finished with the trip, and I had just busted out the little Gerber Puff Snacks to get Nolie through the last two aisles.
As we made our way into the chip aisle, I noticed Nolan starting to cough and kind of stick his fingers in his mouth. He tends to gag himself and over exaggerate his coughing, so I didn't think much of it. I just raised his little arm for a second and was sure something had just "gone down the wrong pipe." As we continued though, Nolans cough turned into a gag, and I began to worry that he wasn't ok.
I quickly got him out of the seat and lifted up his arm again hoping he would get whatever it was out of his system. The gags got worse, and the choking got worse, and Nolan soon began throwing up. I was in a complete panic, not knowing what to do, until I found myself surrounded by three mothers. One mother had her arm on my back, telling me he was ok while the other two were assisting me with Nolan. At this point I was worried he wasn't breathing as in between gags his chest sounded completely full of fluid. With his last heave Nolan got rid of a little mushy snack, accompanied by a tiny piece of paper. A piece of paper that had come from the seal on the top of his snacks. I had just opened the snacks and I'm guessing a little piece had fallen into his cart cover, and then ended up in his little mouth.
As I stood there in tears, covered in puke, holding my baby boy that I was so thankful was ok, I realized I wasn't standing alone. The three women continued to stand with me, wiping Nolan and I down with Kleenexes. They all had tears in their eyes, telling me I was ok, and that there would be many more of these experiences. It was comforting at a time in which a mother can't help but feel extreme guilt for letting something like that happen to her baby. The look and emotion behind all of their faces was so humbling.
I then continued straight for the checkout, though I didn't have everything I needed. The check-out boy grabbed all of my groceries and unloaded and reloaded my cart. Then a man and his daughter stepped in and helped me steer the cart out of the building as I still had Nolan in my arms.
The second I got in my car, I broke down and cried. I cried tears of relief, tears of exhaustion, and tears of joy. Joy from the overwhelming sense of humbleness I felt from all the help I received from so many strangers. God is so good, and seems to be there even in the most horrible situations.
I learned something from our little grocery store trip today. I learned that as a parent, you can't protect your child from the every day dangers of life. I learned that I love living in a small community - I had almost gone to a big grocery store in Springfield, but decided Nolan was in a mood to which a small town grocery store trip would be a safer bet. Chatham has been nothing but good to us. From our amazing neighborhood, to the check out people at my Ace Hardware, Dollar General, and County Market :), to strangers I run into on the street.
God definitely provided me with some guardian angels today. I'm very thankful for that!
Ohh, and one more thing I'm taking from this experience - I may be done with all the social, extra curricular clubs until my kids are old enough to be in school! I barely can keep my cabinets filled at home, let alone keep up with these extra trips for extra events. I'm still new at all of this and I am by no means a June Cleaver. I'm aware of what i can handle, and I think I have a pretty full plate right now.
What a day! I'm heading to bed exhausted, and with a full heart.
